Sunday, May 02, 2004


I am no longer here. I have moved for the (hopefully) last (or close to last) time. Please update your links/bookmarks to I'll see you over there... =)

Thursday, April 29, 2004

"Motherhood: 24/7 on the front lines of humanity. Are you man enough to try it?" ~Maria Shriver Schwarzenegger She was on Oprah today and one thing they're both tired of hearing is "I'm just a mother." As if being a mother is some how a lesser, base, non-important, non-influential necessity. Hey, I want to be a mother. I'd rather be a mother than work at any high-paying job that requires a biology degree. The benefits of motherhood are eternal. Results are in for both psych tests and I'm happy with both of them. The anthro midterm seemed insanely simple too. 66 questions: most multiple choice, some matching and some true/false. Not bad at all. Josh comes to visit tonight and I can't wait. Can't wait can't wait can't wait. CAN'T. WAIT. It's insane that we've spent more than half the time we've been "together" physically apart 400 miles. How does a relationship WORK like that? No, seriously. How?

Tuesday, April 27, 2004

SOME one has a sense of humor!

I got this from Messy Christian 1) Go to 2) Type in "weapons of mass destruction" 3) Click "I'm feeling lucky" 4) Read ALL of the error page very carefully! Note: beck does not necessarily support the views expressed on the above website. =)

Psyched out

I am so so SO tempted to just "coast" and not treat anything as a big deal. It's tempting to know that I'm back to being one of 400 and now the curve works to my advantage. Especially against inexperienced freshman. EXAM 1: TAs handed out $50 worth of chocolate to the entire class because "studies show that chocolate increases test performance." I wasn't going to take any until I saw the Milky Ways. The professor arrived late. At least the test was a fair amount of multiple-choice questions (60) but the ambiguity of some questions bothered me. I'm the type to see things in more than one way and be especially worried about non-obvious nuances so much that I sometimes avoid correct answers. Finished in less than an hour, including the time I took to recheck my answers. EXAM 2: Got there early enough to claim a desk (the class is more than full and some had to sit on the floor.) Skimmed lecture notes while the professor told us, "cramming doesn't work anyways." CRAMMING DOES WORK for those of us with exceptional short-term memories. Regardless, I wasn't worried at all because I probably could have taught most lectures for her. She explained the brain, it's organization, it's function, neurons, etc. I'm specializing in neuroscience and took a class last quarter called "Functional Neuroanatomy." I wasn't worried about the 40-question multiple-choice test. Again, ambiguity bugged me, although perhaps it would only be a problem for someone like me who knows WAY more about certain structures than most people and therefore more answers "could" be true depending on the level of interpretation. Did the extremely vague and unfocused short answer extra credit question. I got done with the whole thing in less than 30 minutes. I'm enjoying the break from early-morning daycare work. I have been considering the phrase, " a girl," most often used in the form of an insult. Lots of the boys at daycare use it, usually "you throw like a girl." Why is it that girls haven't reciprocated this "insult" when it comes to girly things that men don't generally excel at. No girl says to another girl, "you ______ like a boy."

Monday, April 26, 2004

Ho hum

Today is a "free" day. No daycare, no school. I'm preparing for the two psych midterms tomorrow (back to back) and go on breaks to wash the dog/car/house/cat/anything else that involves water. It is HOT here. HOT HOT HOT. This morning I experimented with chemical tan stuff. I got it last year but never used it much. Medium is too dark; I should have gotten the lightest one. The lighter it is the easier it is to get even and less horrid stains result. I washed much of it off in the shower. =) Tanning and lipstick are the same way with me. I want to use it but when I see what it looks like on me I freak out and take it all off before anyone else sees. Pointless and defeating. My father returns from India... right about now. He will have been traveling for 24 hours. DJRH called me from a friend's cell phone yesterday. He sounds slightly better but he says he feels completely fine. He attributes his weird voice to all the yelling they do and I'm worried that if he was sick and continued to yell his vocal chords might be permanently damaged. Not like my concern will change anything. Last week was "hell week" and he said it was pretty easy. This week they call "Disneyland week" and they get to go out and do a lot of cool stuff, including the G-force "spin and puke" machine. Lucky him. =) Well, I should get back to work. Remind me to change blogs at the end of the month. Yeah. I'm moving to a new place...

Sunday, April 25, 2004

It's summer summer SUMMER! I absolutely love the weather. Break out the tanktops and shorts! Unfortunately, I had to spend much of yesterday inside studying and cleaning. I did get outside for an hour or so and lay in the sun while reading my psychology textbook. Yesterday the TV said, "There is no such thing as a healthy tan," and I believe it. I wonder if there's such thing as a healthy chemical tan? Current mood: mellow GTOTD: piercing bright sunshine at 7 am

Friday, April 23, 2004


When I say I enjoy the variety of my job as a research assistant I am NOT referring to the particular "variety" of removing 6 to 8 two-inch cactus spines from my calf. Yes, a cactus leapt out and bit me as I walked by, just minding my own business. An entire cactus arm (chunk? piece? appendage? limb?) detached from the mother plant and clung to my leg, snarling ferociously. I never noticed the snarling; cactus spines almost never hurt going in. It was the weight of the cactus limb hanging on the spines embedded in my calf that I noticed. I looked down. Oh crap. I'm in the middle of nowhere with no tools and I have to get this off me without making it worse. In the end I just grabbed the cactus limb as best I could and yanked it out. All the spines. All at once. OUCH. Small cactus spines who were growing up to be two-inch killers happily dug into my palm and fingers, delighting in the fact that they were too small for me to really see. This caused me much pain as I took notes in class. I finally found some tweezers, which helped, but I couldn't get them all out.

Thursday, April 22, 2004

A quotable quote

During lunch I picked up today's issue of the LA Times and browsed the California section. In an article entitled "Some Gay-Porn Producers Have Required Condom Use" I read the following: Thomas Bjorn, president of San Diego-based Puppy Productions, which specializes in films showing sex without condoms, estimates that 30% of his actors are HIV-positive. On his sets, he tries to match up actors with similar HIV status — based on what the performers tell him. For pornographers to be preaching sexual health through condom use, he said, is at best misleading. "In reality, what is safe sex? It's abstinence," said Bjorn. "If someone says I'm promoting [unsafe sex], I would ask them to watch TV." This is from a porn company president. The truth is out there folks... and I'm convinced EVERYONE knows it.

Tuesday, April 20, 2004

Unfaithfulness. Again.

Folks, I've been perusing other blog-type sites and I haven't even been with blogger for a year. Yes, it's true. I just can't seem to settle down in one place that I'll love unconditionally. As far as I know no free or very cheap host offers something that is EXACTLY what I want. However, I simply do not have the skills to construct EXACTLY what I want on my own domain. Hence, my continuous visitations to see what other places have to offer HOPING to find my ideal layout/design/options in a free package. Unlikely? Quite. I'll keep you posted on my whereabouts. Assume I'm here until told otherwise. It's terribly inconvenient to have to pester my friends on when and where I'm moving to. Perhaps I drive away more than I keep. =) Current mood: irritated Current sound: a dog and cat "playing" (causing great commotion, baring of claws, wagging of tails, hissing, shameless butt-sniffing, batting of paws and general unrest in the house) GTOTD: Niloticus stopped by for the afternoon/evening AND I got to speak with DJRH. Two of my favorite people in one day.

Monday, April 19, 2004

I rounded the corner in the dark and shone my flashlight towards the kennel. Jackson's head rose and he stood up and stretched. He walked over to greet me... he walked right through the open kennel door. I stood in shocked relief. I couldn't believe I had forgotten to close the door after feeding him. The door to his kennel had been open and I had been gone for the last 4 hours and he was still inside??? He couldn't have not known; he just walked right through it. This has got to be the most loyal dog I've ever owned. What a good boy.
A happy Jackson. Picture courtesy of hamsterlaugh. My dad left for India today on business. I am so weary of daycare drama between boys battling for "top dog." There's a group of 5 or 6 boys that are testing the waters and trying to become the "big guy on campus." There's a lot of silliness, fighting, attention-getting words or actions, showing off, being mean, resisting ME, blah blah blah. Current mood: jumpy Current sound: cawing of a crow GTOTD: A dog who can't decide which side of the truck is better to smell from and so it paces back and forth continuously getting wind samples from both sides. =)

Sunday, April 18, 2004

People in Irvine are very wheresgeorge conscious. I got two hits over the weekend - both in Irvine. Jackson and I had a great time visiting with my aunt S* and her family. Their two dogs (T-bird and Blueberry) are also German Shepherd mixes and are 2-3 months younger than Jackson. We took Jackson and Blue to a dog beach a few miles away from the beach house and they had a WONDERFUL time. I was concerned that Jackson would wear himself out, so after the first couple hours I called him back to me and made him lie down. He was not happy with this arrangement and sneaked away to befriend more dogs and sympathetic owners. EVERYone wants to know about his leg and I got several comments noticing that he gets around REALLY well. It was a heavenly day to be at the beach. Completely clear, sunny and warm with a cool breeze coming off the water, lovely waves, happy dogs bounding around and friendly dog-owners visiting. I spent both nights at S*'s house and loved hanging out with my cousins and talking with my aunt and uncle. Cate came out Saturday night and we had dinner, discussed relationships, drank coffee and played a game. Josh is going to be on TV! (Maybe.) Both him and his partner are going to be part of the Extreme Makeover: Home Edition TV show! They start filming on Tuesday and go for a week; the house is in Livermore. Hal and Josh will work as part of the night crew so it's doubtful they'll make it on screen (except maybe on demo day when the swarms of people charge the house with sledgehammers.) The show focuses more on the central people who run the show and the drama between them, and less on the people working night and day doing the actual work. I have no idea when they'll air the show, but once I know, you'll hear from me! Current mood: calm Current music: Josh's voice GTOTD: Buster Poindexter

Friday, April 16, 2004


I'm mad at my beloved dog. I DO love him very much, but not when he has the nerve to CHEW his new bed right in front of me. (Well, near-by.) I handled it reasonably. Yelling at him and making a huge deal wouldn't have gotten anywhere and would have just confused him. I just sternly said "Leave it" and took it away and replaced it with something he WAS allowed to chew. Even though he's a big dog, he's not even a year old yet and puppies do chew. But MAN. *grumble* It is now a bonafide DOG bed. Though he is the cutest at bedtime. After we come in from his last potty break he walks straight to my room and goes right into his crate, flops down, gives a huuuuuge contented-dog sigh, and squirms around until he's comfortable. Then he just looks at me with those adorable brown, expressive puppy eyes until I turn off the light. Awwww.... =) I'm off to the beach now!

Thursday, April 15, 2004

Various and sundry

DJRH is in A school in Florida. He gets to play volleyball every day and I have his address for anyone who wants it. And we thought the boot camp address was long. Hah. Niloticus talked with him yesterday. In a week or two he can wear civilian clothes again so Niloticus is going to go over to his house and collect a bunch of clothes to send him. Last night several of us schemed up ways to infiltrate the box with monkey paraphernalia. Mwa ha ha haaaaa. Anyone wishing to participate in this act of goodwill (heh =) ) please send ideas to me. That other guy in the Navy (JBH the Third) is doing well. I was talking to their sister yesterday and she told me he's looking around for a church to attend as well as good volleyball partners. Excellent combination. I might hang out with the sister tonight if she calls me. Plans for the weekend are up in the air. It's quite likely Jackson and I will spend Friday night at my aunt's house but I have yet to confirm that with her. (I'll let you know as soon as I know, Cate.) WHY aren't more people entering wheresgeorge bills??? I've run into a dry spell and my hit rate is dropping. (No gloating, TAB.) I probably need a more professional method of marking such as a stamp. I'm too lazy to have a stamp made. Psych classes continue. So does anthro. Neither is very exciting. I bought Jackson a bed that has a cedar "pillow" AND a foam pad thing inside a washable cover. I figure I can rearrange what I want to be in the bed, but that seems like a good start. The orthopedic bed's I was looking at for a dog his size were like $100!!! No way. Not for a dog. Even a dog with bad hips. I put that in his kennel with him today (covered with the towels he usually lays on) so I hope he's putting it to good use. It's noon and I really don't want to hang around for class at 2 pm.

Tuesday, April 13, 2004

What is wrong with me??

Today I walked to class. Not unusual, until I noticed the girl walking next to me. She was wearing a tank top, mini skirt and flip flops. In contrast, I was wearing shoes and socks, jeans, and a hoodie sweatshirt over a 3/4 sleeve t-shirt. Um.... hello? Is one of us in the wrong climate?? I know I get cold easily but is this even normal?

Monday, April 12, 2004

Pulling out my hair

It is almost 11 pm and I wanted to be in bed before 10. Which is more stupid: digging through the outside trash bin to find tax papers I thought I had thrown away OR finding said tax forms in the file folder for my phone bills? Yeah. Seriously. I did both. After spending more than an hour on this tax junk I've decided not to file for state income tax. I believe I'd only get $5 (which seems wrong, but at this time of night it's likely I've made an unrecognizable mistake.) I could get five bucks for working half an hour, and I've spent much longer than that working at this stuff. --- Today during our walk Jackson attracted people (as usual) and I was proud of him for not barking (except at one man, but then he stopped.) A guy giving his child a bike-ride turned around and came back to ask what had happened to Jackson. Several 10-12 year old boys on bicycles had similar questions. Such a conversation piece! Everyone wants to know and everyone wants to pet him. Which is good because this dog has to be socialized. I've been thinking about signing up for an obedience class. I need to research what's offered around here. At the pet store I saw doggie life-vests for about $20. Not a bad price at all. I also decided that it's not cheaper to make him a dog bed. I should just buy what I want. --- I can't believe this. So much for getting up at 5:30 tomorrow morning. Gah. Josh's phone keeps turning off, too. Quite frustrating when in the middle of conversation.

I need a bicycle NOW

I paid $30.05 to fill my car up with gas today. INSANITY.
Here's my dog trying to lose another leg. Brilliant of him, no? --- I learned about "central traits" in my psych class. These are the overall terms used to describe someone. As an example my professor said "Bill Gates" and the class responded with "rich, nerd, etc." which would be his central traits. She said "Monica Lewinsky" and the class responded with "slut, whore, etc." which made me mad. What of Bill Clinton? True, he's known for lots more than immoral acts and probably would be described as "president" among many other things. The main think Monica was known for was her sexual involvement with Mr. Clinton. So yeah, most of us would associate that with her instead of her other traits that are known by her family and friends. This just made me think of the double standard society holds. For some reason a guy sleeping around is much more acceptable than a girl doing the same thing. The guy is "normal" and the girl is a slut. The girl gets the bad label and the guy gets what he wants. It takes two, people. The "slut" HAD to have slept with SOMEone. There are so many side-issues here from so many different angles that I can't take time to address them all. Note away!

Sunday, April 11, 2004

Happy Easter!

I said goodbye to my family and Josh a few hours ago. Now I'll unpack (physically and mentally) from the weekend retreat and buckle down to work around here. --- Last night Caffeine Fiend and Hamster Laugh stopped by for a (lamentably) quick visit. They were in the area along with loads of other family members to attend the promotion ceremony of one of their cousins who is now (direct quote from Caffeine Fiend's blog) "commander of all Navy recruitment for the entire Pacific Rim." I showed them around the house as well as Jackson's living quarters (which have become somewhat overgrown in his absence.) They took pictures of the dog and I realized I have to work more regularly on obedience training. He jumps up on people far more than I realized (he no longer jumps on me, because I'm non-interesting) and seems to think that he can run the show and listens to me only when it's beneficial to him. A dog his size must be under control and he is certainly not going to be the one calling the shots! Josh and I went to a Bible study and we were going to try to meet up with them after that, but I had to go to school to change the bug cultures. --- Speaking of which! Check this out. Tim, maybe you can help figure out the odds for this event. On the way back down the hill from the mountain retreat, Josh and I passed a large, bright-red pick-up truck with red step-up bars. On the front of the hood there was a wind/bug ferring type thing decorated like the American flag. Several hours and miles later, in a completely different area, we SAW THE SAME TRUCK! We pulled off the freeway on the way to Bible study to look for food. We saw a Chinese food place and passed the SAME TRUCK again; it was parked in the same parking lot that we stopped in to get food. We had to have been at least 50 miles from the last place we saw it and who knows how many other possible routes we (and they) could have taken? What are the odds of our paths crossing with a complete stranger twice in one day? Crazy. Current mood: lazy GTOTD: carrot cake

Wednesday, April 07, 2004

I had no idea that I was tired until I sat down to do homework and woke up two hours later. Now I'm awake when I should be getting into bed! --- I need to post more controversial, intellectual things on here. You people don't get how much I love comments!! So far, though, I haven't had the time to transpose what I'm thinking into a coherent, easy-to-follow entry. I probably still don't really have time. The thing is, I don't want to write to people who already share my point of view necessarily. I want to do a good enough job at backing my stance that it would make logical sense to someone who disagrees with me. Anyways. It's currently easier to just recite what I did each day and occasionally write an entertaining story. Sorry. I love to discuss things with people in person though, so feel free! --- The tripod is adjusting really well to life around here. I'm so happy to have him! Jackson scared the mailman this morning, which I found amusing. I was unloading things from my car and Jackson was hopping around the yard. The mailman walked by on the sidewalk (picket fence between us, but the car gate was open) and Jackson (maybe 40 ft away) started his fierce guard-dog barking/growling without moving towards the sidewalk at all. The mailman literally jumped back behind some bushes that block the yard from the sidewalk and shouted to me, "Is that dog safe?" I grabbed Jack's collar and said, "Yeah he his. I'm sorry about that." The the mailman kept walking. I have no idea if he even realized he was threatened by a 3-legged dog. It's not that I don't think Jackson could do any damage - I'm sure he could - It's just funny when people are scared of gimpy-looking dogs. Of course as his owner I know how goofy Jackson is and how he really wouldn't hurt the mailman - just big bad mean robber guys. =)

Tuesday, April 06, 2004

ah HAH

Welcome to a session of beck's nit-picking. I found an incongruity in professor Wright's lecture this morning. She explained to the class about realities and how everyone has a different reality. Reality is perceived to be different by different people. For example, what is real for me cannot be experienced by someone else because they have their own reality and perceive it differently. Then, during one of the examples (dressing up criminals to create a social perception) she made the comment that in regard to rape, "a verbal no always means no." Oh really? What if the rapeist decides that in his reality he perceives a verbal no to mean "yes" or even "the car my aunt drives looks like a boat"? I know this is stretching it, but I'm just continuing her logic.

When did freshmen get so YOUNG?

And that's just college freshmen. High-school freshmen must be infants. (Except my sister.) All my classes this quarter are predominantly first-year classes. I'm taking two psychology classes and anthropology to satisfy a few of my degree breadth requirements. Both psych classes appear to be completely straight-forward and easy. I think it's funny that professors give a 20 minute lecture at the beginning of class explaining that we're all adults now and therefore should act like it. Don't talk when I'm talking, be responsible, cheaters will FAIL, come to class, etc. If the room was REALLY full of adults, such a speech wouldn't be necessary. I had forgotten how different freshman classes are from upper-division course work. It should be (crossing my fingers) a piece of cake. One of the psych classes focuses on clinical psychology and is taught by a practicing psychologist. She's dyslexic, doesn't mind swearing in class, and was the most adamant with her freshman warnings. The class has 400 people in it. Irritating, overall, but not so bad as the tests are non-cumulative and based mostly on the lectures. The other psych class I believe will become my favorite. It's focus is the study of cognitive function and the brain - something that is very intriguing to me. The professor discussed the importance of neuroscience in this field. It's stuff I'm already very familiar with. Today she touched on the mind/brain (body) problem which is something I've become interested in as a result from the apologetics lectures I attend. Intellectual puzzles! Woo hoo! =) Both psych classes share the same text! Another plus. Current mood: thoughtful GTOTD: early morning walk with a tripod-dog

Monday, April 05, 2004

"Home" again

Not sure where my home is, really. I called my grandmother to say, "I'm leaving home now; expect me in 7 hours." When I got here, I called my mom to say, "I'm home safely." Jackson sure recognized his first home. He was eager to get out of the car and ran around the yard checking up on everything. He even remembered the neighbor dog and wagged at her just like he did when he was a smaller puppy, even though he's bigger than her now. He'll probably sleep inside (in his crate) with me. He has a kennel outside but he'll spend enough time in that while I'm at school or work. Going down the long, narrow flight of stairs doesn't seem to be a problem. I was shocked when he turned around at the top of the stairs and went right back down. I didn't have to coax or encourage him at all. Currently he's laying down at my feet and Meth is on top of the computer monitor. Whenever I say, "Oh what a good boy Jackson," Methyl starts purring and comes over to be pet. =) They both recognize my tone, though I doubt Methyl will ever learn to ignore things I say to Jackson. Jackson sure knows Methyl's name. I made the drive wearing half a pair of sunglasses. Well, both lenses were in, but the arm on the left side broke off. So my right ear and nose did all the work in holding them to my face. I felt like I was wearing those glasses that people used to hold on little poles and hold them up to their eyes and peer down their nose at you. Apparently the very large and very plastic broken sunglasses weren't enough to discourage a car full of guys from Washington from noticing me and my traveling menagerie. They honked to get my attention and held up a sign that said "YOU'RE HOT" and I laughed at them. I guess that's one way to pass the time. Jackson also drew some attention when we stopped at the rest areas. He was a ferocious guard dog (barking/growling) until he got out of the car. Once he was out, he was too busy running around and smelling things to notice anyone else. A couple people asked about his leg (or lack of one) so I told them. Seems like he's a great conversation starter! His hips don't appear to be bothering him, but I'm watching closely. The vet said swimming is exceptionally good for him. I don't know how to keep him from swimming in circles, =), but hopefully I can find a place that we can regularly visit to keep him exercised without putting too much or unequal strain on any one of his legs. I start school tomorrow and I don't even know what time I have to be there.

Saturday, April 03, 2004


I just played Halo for the first time. It makes me sick. It really does. Of course, no one told me how the controls work or what does what. One brother was on my team and the other brother followed me around and picked me off. I think I did make one kill, practically accidentally. I don't think I could get into the "game mode" where the violence no longer "effects" you. I really feel sick. And shaky. I wasn't a big video game person to begin with and Halo certainly is not a game I enjoy to play or watch.


Here he is before surgery. I love his coloring. He's a smart, good boy. =)

Picture (test)

Some of you may remember the horrible out-of-control wildfires in California. Here is a picture (taken from a news site) that may help give you an idea of how horrible. I don't know where this was taken, but my aunt has a very similar picture taken in her neighborhood. Her house was saved (though she lost her fence) but 10 houses across the street were burned.


Here it is, the end of my week off. Already. I can't say that I've done much at all. My parents went to the coast for a 3-night getaway and left me to do all the taxi work for D and L. It wasn't so bad, just 7 am choir every day. Plus, I like hanging out with my brothers and sister. D's motorcycle has a gas leak and stinks up the garage and part of the downstairs. The back axel is fixed now and he rides it up and down the street. He has a permit to drive a car and a motorcycle, though I don't think his bike is quite street legal yet. He also gave me lots of good advice for Civilizations II. L and I played many games of Sequence and had fun with our dogs. We have the best dogs. Didn't get to see much of TAB. He's busy with school and counseling a friend in the purchase of a motorcycle. I did get to go to college group with TAB. Right after, TAB and Afropuff had to go to SF to look at a motorcycle and left me needing a ride to go pick up my car from the shop. One of my old friends (we're the friendliest of sworn enemies) from high school kindly drove me around until I located a key for my car since TAB drove off with my purse. It was good to talk with him again. We seem to be able to pick right up where we left off. (Ha. I made it sound like it was all TAB's fault. I know he's going to complain at me in the comments.) One of my goals for spring break was to find a way to resize photos to be suitable for posting here. Adobe wasn't doing it. I got the size right but the quality just went down the tubes. Maybe I can work on that tomorrow and post some pictures. My other goal (I'm an ambitious one) was to do my taxes. That can be done tomorrow as well, I suppose. On Wednesday I bought some steak and tried to make a half-decent meal, which turned out to be half-decent. I got way too much meat, but I'm used to eating with my carnivorous cousins who consume enormous quantities of meat and regard me as strange for not showing proper enthusiasm. Wouldn't you know my siblings are similar to me. I also cooked mashed potatoes (REAL, not from a box!) and green beans. No salad, but it would have been nice. Josh is so wonderful. Tonight he drove all the way over to my house to pick me up (he knows I hate driving places to meet him because it means we're not in the same car together) and took me to Cold Stone for some ice cream. Then we went to his house and I lay on his bed and was lethargic while he worked on my computer. He installed all sorts of good programs that will clean up my memory and keep the computer running fast. He also bought me new RAM which will speed my computer up even more. I love him. He's the greatest in the entire world. HA HA no one else gets him - he's MINE. =) I just checked my grades for last quarter and I'm upset because one class was just ridiculous. I don't like listening to people whine about things they can control and are responsible for but there are so many appropriate reasons for why I do not deserve the grade I got in this class. It's just frustrating, knowing that I can't do anything about it now. I did everything I could to do well in that class. There were two tests. Both tests consisted of 25 multiple choice questions. One test was worth 40% and the other was worth 60%. That right there is just not right. OK so now I'm getting into it, which I don't want to do. DJRH made it out of boot (he got sick towards the end) and is now based in Florida for his A school. Yesterday he played 3 hours of volleyball and got sunburned so he's happy. =) Current mood: Irritated Current music: "He trusted in God that he... would deLIVER HIM... Let him deLIVER him... if he deLIGHT IN HIM" GTOTD: my computer is so fresh and clean

Tuesday, March 30, 2004


The car I drive now is two years younger than my old car. It's the exact same make and model and behaving in exactly the same way as my last car before it blew a head gasket. Of course I'd like to prevent my current car from doing the same thing. My car runs (or says it runs) abnormally hot. We've replaced the thermostat (the gauge used to read WAAAAY cold and never moved) and flushed the system with new coolant. I had it checked out today again, and the mechanic says it's fine. He shot the temperature gun at various and sundry places over the radiator and the car is running right where it's supposed to. So that's good, we don't have to spend money. However, the gauge shows it running all the way up in the "A" of the "NORMAL" region. On hot days it can easily venture into the "L" area which concerns me because right after that is the RED zone indicating the car is likely to overheat. Usually turning on the AC or the heater will bring the gauge down some (both switch on another fan) although the heater doesn't bring the indicator much farther down than the AC. All I want to know is when I should really be concerned about my car overheating. If the gauge is just off, I wish it would be off on the other direction so I wouldn't have to needlessly roast myself in traffic during a hot summer day. If my car is actually going to progress towards blowing a head gasket, then I want to do something to stop that. BMW's don't have these problems... right? =)

Monday, March 29, 2004


So here I am on the glorious, much-anticipated spring break. It's only the 2nd day and I'm already bored. Yes, there are things to do, (my mother assures me she can think of things if I can't!) but there's nothing TO do. Nothing I MUST do. So I don't do anything because I have all the time in the world to do anything. So far, I have: practiced my guitar and learned easy ways to do harder chords from my dad played poker with my siblings conquered the Vikings and most of the Romans on Civilizations II played the piano ate breakfast with Josh supervised entertaining interludes between the dogs and a hesitant cat attended church with my brothers reformatted past journal entries ate a LOT of crab with Josh's family

Friday, March 26, 2004


Jackson is the most wonderful dog ever. My brother's motorcycle is nicer than I imagined. Mom is making enchiladas. Life is good here at home. =)

Thursday, March 25, 2004

Clean Cat

Methyl meowed only 4 times throughout her bath. I'm so proud. She did so well, even stood quietly (for a wet cat) in the sink and let me take my hands off her a few times. Simply amazing. Now her fur is soft and she's shedding like mad and licking and licking and licking and licking and probably will throw up once she arrives at my parents house. All I have to do is pack my clothes and most of them are still in the wash. I'm so tired. I GET TO SEE JACKSON TOMORROW! At long last.

Just in time for finals!!!

"Door, door, who took the door?"

Fifteen minutes before the final began the professor popped his head in the door and smiled at all of us. We looked up from our last-minute review when he said, "Good. The door is open. That was my nightmare. I have little nightmares! I'll be right back." We've had issues with this door. It's a fancy door that is remotely unlocked 15 minutes before class is scheduled to start. During a couple class periods it would beep frantically at everyone who entered (which is annoying when people come in late, after he's started the lecture) and keep beeping sporadically until some genius (*ahem* me *ahem*) realized that closing the door completely would stop the beeping. Well that was fine except we had to interrupt class each time someone else came in and tell them to close the door all the way. We called to get some door alarm specialist to make it stop but no one came, so now everyone is an expert at closing the door. Today, however, the door behaved perfectly and did not object to being left slightly open or to people entering and exiting. My title for this post comes from the wonderful book "Surely You're Joking Mr. Feynman" which I highly recommend.

Wednesday, March 24, 2004

6 hours

Here's something exciting to do over spring break - grab a close friend, pour cold water in one of their ears and hot water in the other and pay attention to their strange eye and head movements! =) The vestibular system (bones near your ear) consists of 3 fluid-filled canals that are arranged in the 3 main planes of head movement. It's the inner ear balance you hear so much about in relation to vertigo and other fun dizzy things. When we move our head, the bones move with it (duh), but the fluid inside the canal moves relative to the bone. It's sensory cells inside the canal that keep us posted on posture, head positioning and general orientation of our head. So, back to the hot/cold water. Vestibuocular reflexes allow us to keep our eyes on a point while turning our head. It coordinates eye and head movements based on what the fluid in the vestibular canals is doing. The hot and cold water heats or cools the fluid, causing convection currents in the canals which mimics head movement, which makes your eyes do strange things! Woo hoo!!! Hey, it's no stranger than ear candles. Did you know that people who are unable to smell or identify scents are called anosmics? People who are unable to recognize faces (even of people they've known their whole life) are called prosopagnosiacs. "Prosopo" is Greek for "face" or "person" and "agnosia" means "not knowing." For example, prosopagnosiacs will be unable to recognize or identify their spouse until he or she starts talking (voice and manner recognition is fine). Can you tell I studied for 6 solid hours today??? I just hope I'll be able to remember what I need to during the exams tomorrow. I should probably review each class again before I go to bed. It's the most frustrating thing when you are unable to answer a question on the test because the specific diagram that you need to answer it appears only partially complete in your mind. No matter how hard I try to focus, the caption or labels or point of the diagram remains unclear, yet the skeletal components sit there and taunt me. It's maddening. I grew up in a fellowship that divided about 10 years ago. It was a painful thing. Families were split, not to mention life-long friendships all because of legalistic "traditional" elders who refused to be accountable and willing to admit the possibility that they could be wrong. Yes, for those of you who actually know the details about this, that was a rather harsh generalization. A lot more went into the division than just that. Today I learned that the "other" side (being the one we aren't on) is about to experience ANOTHER division. I can't believe it. So much pain and hurt and needless finger-pointing, Bible-thumping, anger, pride, selfishness all in the name of God? "How lovely it is for brethren to dwell together in UNITY." Psalm something. I can understand a division every hundred years or so, when people separate because of doctrine and part on good, honorable terms instead of self-righteous anger. But TWO divisions in ONE generation? All the younger people have already left the other side (if not physically, most have in belief and action.) There's no one left to continue except the old people. And now another division. WHY WHY WHY???? I'm thankful it's not on "our" side because I can't imagine how difficult it would be for my parents. Some of my family is on the "other" side but since the last division didn't affect us much (thankfully!) I doubt this one will either. I'm thankful for the richness that fellowship has brought to my childhood but I just can't see how this is THE place to be. I understand that other churches have similar problems. The problem is common - simply abandoning God to serve yourself.

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

Study day

"... the writing of many books is endless, and excessive devotion to books is wearying to the body." Ecclesiastes 12:12 True. SO true. Today I studied for more than most of the day. Surprisingly enough I actually accomplished my goal for today so that's good! Of course I always want to do a little more, but I'm going to call it quits and head to bed. I really want a nice computer/desk chair. SITTING ALL DAY HURTS MY BUTT! I have to keep changing positions or walk around for a couple minutes. Of course I won't get to do anything more than sit bolt upright at the awful public library that I'll go to tomorrow. The security guy (yeah! in a library!) actually came over and told me that I'm not allowed to put my feet up on the chairs (I had kicked off my flip-flops and tucked one foot under me.) I was shocked that he was saying this to me - it was so ridiculous I actually asked him to repeat it because I wasn't sure he was serious. Unbelievable. The library has a lot of younger kids and high schoolers hang out there after school and there are signs in the bathrooms saying it's illegal to change clothes, shave, sleep, etc. in the library. But jeez. Just kick people out and tell them they're never welcome back unless they can follow the rules. Hiring a security guy who stalks around and polices the area is really pointless. Say what you mean, enforce it and accept nothing less. I am NOT an unreasonable library patron! Leave me alone! Methyl is sporting some UN-natural highlights. I took a green highlighter to her ear hair since she insisted on laying down in the middle of all my papers and flicking her tail carelessly at me when I told her to move. She's an American Curl (my aunt founded the breed) and her ear hair sticks out more than most cats. =) Here are some American Curl pictures. What shocked me was the striking similarity between Methyl and "Destiny" (scroll down, picture on the right.) I swear they could be sisters, and it's quite possible they could be (my aunt has sent cats all over the world) but I kind of doubt it. One of my biology textbooks referenced American Curls (and even mentioned the origin of the breed!) because of the genetics. This is a more complete website with LOTS of really good photos (note my aunt in the history section!) One of Methyl's sister's named Whisper went on to be an award-winning show cat and has had a few litters. Strangely enough Jimmy's TV, that I thought was black and white all this time, suddenly started regaining color. It was bizarre. It's still not what I'd call FULL color but I slowly was aware that colors actually looked reddish or blueish instead of grayscale. Totally strange. I have no idea why it's doing this. Different channels seem to show variations in color intensity. What even makes TV's color? I have no idea.

Monday, March 22, 2004

Monday Monday...

I'm done with pysiology lab. My TA hasn't passed back essentially anything since class began (he isn't prompt with grading) so it's difficult to tell where I stand in the class. All I can do is done now, and I am powerless to do anything to further effect my grade, except maybe buy him Snickers. I was disapointed with the attitudes of both child and parent this morning (though I hold the parent more responsible) during daycare. In an attempt to keep the little kid noise level down (the big kids were doing CTBS testing) I challanged two of the loudest boys to games of chess and othello. Blaise played othello with me and Shawn played chess with me - both at the same time. =) All was well. Both boys helped the other so it was really as if I was playing 2 games against 2 people each at the same time. Jonathan arrived with his father. Jonathan is a good kid, somewhat hyperactive but a quick thinker and very intelligent and compliant (usually.) Jonathan belongs to a chess club and just cannot constrain his advice when watching a game take place. So he jumps right in (hands and all) and tells Shawn he can't move over here (reaching down and moving the piece on our board) because this piece (touches my bishop) would put his king into check if he did that. Shawn would have seen that eventually and is irritated at Jonathan's intervention. So am I. I ask Jonathan to not give advice unless Shawn asks for it and he agrees but then quickly jumps into my side and tells me the move I'm about to make isn't a good one. His father is standing behind him and says to Jonathan in a rather condescending manner (towards Shawn and I), "Jonathan, this isn't your game, just let them play it how they want to" implying that Shawn and I were really helpless without Jonathan's advice. Jonathan sort of listened but continued to watch and make comments. Then the father continued with, "well just for future reference the board you have is incorrectly set up." I guess this was directed at me but I wasn't listening. I know the pieces were correctly set up so I can only assume he meant the checkered board wasn't "official." WHO CARES??? Shawn and I were having a great time before they got there. This isn't a chess club, it's an elementry school. Our othello pieces are math counters. We don't care about the particulars as long as we're having fun! It's not like the game is greatly hindered. I know this isn't really a huge issue but it's one of those small things that just grates on you. I can deal with children acting like children but when adults are impolite and unreasonable it really bugs me. I just have to let it go because I really don't have any authority but man this type of thing bugs me! There are more incidents regarding Jonathan's father. My irritation isn't based solely on what happened today; it's more of a cumulative thing. I'm off to change bug boxes and collect their eggs.

Saturday, March 20, 2004

8 choices

I noticed a book entitled, "8 Choices that will change a women's life" in the Christian bookstore yesterday. I think these choices aren't limited to changing the lives of only women. 1. Resist pain or use it. 2. Pursue wealth or grace. 3. Speak wisely or foolishly. 4. Value your time or fritter it away. 5. Live for self or spirit. 6. Develop God's gifts or waste them. 7. Persevere under trials or protect your life. 8. Stand for truth or abandon it. I would say a few of these points differently... but there you have it. Wise words.

Tuesday, March 16, 2004

Marriage is for everyone!

A scene at City Hall in San Francisco "Next." "Good morning. We want to apply for a marriage license." "Names?" "Tim and Jim Jones." "Jones? Are you related? I see a resemblance." "Yes, we're brothers." "Brothers? You can't get married." "Why not? Aren't you giving marriage licenses to same gender couples?" "Yes, thousands. But we haven't had any siblings. That's incest!" "Incest? No, we are not gay." "Not gay? Then why do you want to get married?" "For the financial benefits, of course. And we do love each other. Besides, we don't have any other prospects." "But we're issuing marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples who've been denied equal protection under the law. If you are not gay, you can get married to a woman." "Wait a minute. A gay man has the same right to marry a woman as I have. But just because I'm straight doesn't mean I want to marry a woman. I want to marry Jim." "And I want to marry Tim, Are you going to discriminate against us just because we are not gay?" "All right, all right. I'll give you your license. Next." "Hi. We are here to get married." "Names?" "John Smith, Jane James, Robert Green, and June Johnson." "Who wants to marry whom?" "We all want to marry each other." "But there are four of you!" "That's right. You see, we're all bisexual. I love Jane and Robert, Jane loves me and June, June loves Robert and Jane, and Robert loves June and me. All of us getting married together is the only way that we can express our sexual preferences in a marital relationship." "But we've only been granting licenses to gay and lesbian couples." "So you're discriminating against bisexuals!" "No, it's just that, well, the traditional idea of marriage is that it's just for couples." "Since when are you standing on tradition?" "Well, I mean, you have to draw the line somewhere." "Who says? There's no logical reason to limit marriage to couples. The more the better. Besides, we demand our rights! The mayor says the constitution guarantees equal protection under the law. Give us a marriage license!" "All right, all right. Next." "Hello, I'd like a marriage license." "In what names?" "David Deets." "And the other man?" "That's all. I want to marry myself." "Marry yourself? What do you mean?" "Well, my psychiatrist says I have a dual personality, so I want to marry the two together. Maybe I can file a joint income-tax return." "That does it! I quit!! You people are making a mockery of marriage!!" --- If anyone can tell me who wrote this I would love to give credit where credit is due.

Sunday, March 14, 2004

I went to this guy's wedding over the weekend. He married Josh's sister-in-law's sister. =) During the ceremony he sang a song to his bride that he composed. It was very romantic. Josh and I discussed wedding details and what we did and didn't want in ours. It was fun hanging out with Josh's family. They now know me as more than just "Josh's girlfriend." It's nice to be liked of my own merit, not just because I go with Josh and they like him so they have to like me. =) It was nice to see Josh again too. I love seeing him. He's wonderful. Current mood: tired Current music: "Only You... can make this world seem right..." GTOTD: We beat the boys at Disney Trivia!

Thursday, March 11, 2004

My claim to fame (kind of)

So Captain (actually I believe he's a sergeant) Kirk dropped by tonight and took my grandpa to dinner. He'll be shipping out to Iraq in a few days and has spent the last several months training in some desert around here. Since I had thought that all this time he was already IN Iraq, it was good to see him! His job there will be a "tow-truck guy." He's responsible for repairing tanks/vehicles/whatever else and fixing broken things which is right up his ally. Before being called up to go to Iraq he worked building custom cars (think "American Chopper" but with cars.) He talked of welding and really enjoyed it. Anyways so one of the cars he helped build is featured on the cover of this month's issue of Road and Track. It's the new Eclipse concept car. This is a link for you just in case you don't happen to have the Road & Track issue handy. ;-)

Wednesday, March 10, 2004


I got to play with hissing cockroaches. We stuffed them in cans and measured the amount of oxygen they consumed in an hour. I wore gloves (probably not entirely necessary) and MAN are they BIG and MAN do they cling to you. We also worked with mice today so there was lots of jumping around and squealing and general excitement. Even from the guys. =) Current mood: happy (lab report is now due a whole WEEK from when it was originally due!) GTOTD: switched out my heavy winter comforter for the light summer one!

Tuesday, March 09, 2004


Today at the end of functional neuroanatomy I got to see a real (dead) human brain. A pathologist is auditing the class and arranged with the professor to show us what an actual brain looks like. After looking at so many text book diagrams it's easy to think in terms of color keys and labels when in actuality the brain is NOT color coded and it's VERY difficult to determine boundaries between brain areas. It was awesome. He had the whole brain (cerebrum, cerebellum and brainstem) of a 3 year old (died due to congenital leukemia) and the brainstem of a 50 year old who died of breast cancer. (NOTE: It's hard for some people to get over the fact that the brain was from a human who lived and walked and talked similar to us. I find it easy to get excited about the opportunity I have to see and learn. I'm an organ donor and the way I look at it, when I'm dead and gone I won't need any of my body parts ever again. I'm more than happy to donate them to people who can learn from and possibly improve medical techniques as a result.) Anyways I was surprised to find the 3 year old brainstem was nearly exactly the same size as the 50 year old brainstem. The cranial nerves were amazingly visible (and right where the text said they should be!) and the optic chiasm was incredible. The pathologist had sectioned the brain into 15 or so slices (cutting top to bottom from the front to the back like a loaf of bread.) It was so neat to see the striatum, thalamus, LGN, and so many other structures I've only seen in diagrams and MRI's. The ventricles were beautiful. I am completely blown away by how many intricate levels of organization are compacted into such a SMALL space. The incredible organization of the cerebellum was so obvious. It's an engineer's dream. He had it partially sectioned so that we could look inside without the whole structure coming apart. It was a really awesome experience. (NOTE (again): some people think of the brain in terms of what they've seen in horror movies or bloody murder scenes. The scientifically preserved brain is really SO different and I don't see how anyone could really be repulsed by it. It's clean, heavy, dense tissue that has darker "gray" brown areas and lighter "white" areas. It's really beautiful.) Please check this out! It's not bad at all. I promise! Some links to BRAIN pictures: Through the middle Front of the head is towards the left, back of the head is towards the right. The lighter, curved, banana-type thing in the center is the corpus callosum. It's the fiber tract that connects the left and right hemispheres of the brain. Side to side The lateral ventricles (they hold cerebral spinal fluid (CSF)) are the butterfly shaped holes in the center. The ears would be on the left and right sides of this picture. Ventricles Here's a schematic of the ventricles and their position within the brain. You can see the large lateral ventricles (Backwards C shaped; one in each hemisphere) and the third ventricle underneath. The 4th ventricle is the smallest, lowest one, next to the cerebellum. Some labels More structures in a section similar to the second picture. OK That's probably enough for now. Can you tell I love this stuff? =)

Sunday, March 07, 2004

California Dreamin'

New York was fun. I had a great time but it is a GOOD feeling to be back in my home state! I appreciate the space I have. The lawn I get to walk on. The car I get to drive. We stayed in midtown Manhattan on the fifth floor in a TINY hotel room. My brother and I arrived at JFK within 20 minutes of each other early Friday morning. It was COLD. I was so glad for my wool coat and scarf. After we met up we took the Airtrain to the Long Island Rail Road to a station near our hotel where we dragged our luggage the last few blocks. We thought we'd be OK after a few hours of sleep and planned to have lunch with my great uncle who lives in Brooklyn. We thought wrong. My parents met him for lunch and delivered the three huge oranges my grandpa sent. While we slept on, they stood in line to get discount tickets for "Fiddler on the Roof" on Broadway. It was SO very well done. I loved it. When I was in high school my brother and I were part of our school's production of the play. All of us noticed MANY similar details/interpretations to our high school's play. That's a huge compliment to our director. On Saturday we took the subway down to Battery Park and then took the ferry to Ellis Island. I had never been before and it was educational. There's a computer that lets you look up your last name or other surnames from your past to see who came through Ellis Island. I've confirmed that my heritage is largely Scottish and Irish. Saturday night my lovely and talented siblings performed with the National Youth Choir in Carnegie Hall. They were wonderful as I knew they would be!! We had a box seat and the acoustics were impressive. We met up with them briefly after the performance to take pictures and congratulate while they celebrated with the others at a local TGI Fridays. That was it! Today we got up and went to the airport and here I am back at home... with work tomorrow at 7:30 am and a midterm. My dumb cat knocked over all the trashcans and either ate a spider or something in the trash that made her puke. My welcome home present... Also the cool Mexican guy across the street who is always friendly and wants me to practice my Spanish whenever we talk... he passed away. He's been around for a long time and knew my mom and my aunts and uncles as they grew up here. He always smiled and waved at me as he worked on his yard or car as I came and went. He's a bright spot in the neighborhood that I'll miss. I don't know the details of his death, but my grandma said something about cancer. It was certainly unexpected. So. It was a wonderful 88 degrees Fahrenheit today which is far better than NYC's bitter cold wind. I've been to NYC a couple times before and saw a lot of the tourist stuff those times. This time we walked around a LOT and saw things like Times Square, Trump Tower (The Apprentice!!), the Empire State Building (a few minutes walk from the hotel), Grand Central Station, etc.. It's currently 9:13 pm CA time but I'm at 12:13 am NYC time. Goodnight!

Thursday, March 04, 2004


I'm feeling quite smug. I packed all my things for a weekend in New York City into one carry-on bag. It's not a back-breaking bag either. I'll have to drag it through airports and Metro Rail trains. The other carry-on will be my school bag. I'm just so great. Ha. =) The president flew out of LAX this morning. I'm sure all the hoopla will have died down by 10 pm tonight. =) I'm still not exactly sure how I'll get to the airport. I may have a ride and I may have to park. I have all the physics classes I need for the summer. Whew. My spring quarter enrollment window opens in a little over an hour. Hopefully I can get the classes I want there as well. I've always had difficulties enrolling. I never expect a plain and simple "get-all-the-classes-I-need" enrollment session. OK so if you read this, please tell me if you'd a) be interested in seeing pictures of "things" (mostly Jackson right now, and possibly people) b) have any suggestions as to where this can be accomplished most easily. I've spent time trying to resize photos to post directly to my blog, but I think I'm leaning towards linking the blog to another photo site that displays photos in nice sizes without too much hassle. I have a yahoo account I may use. I'll just have to set up public "blog" albums over there. Snapfish offers a good service but I think in order to view anyone's photos you have to become a member. Another thing to add to my "TO DO DURING SPRING BREAK" list. Along with cutting off my long fingernails and learning to play guitar. I'm ready for a BLT on sourdough.

Wednesday, March 03, 2004

NYC Baby!

Tomorrow night I leave for a whirlwind tour of New York City. Actually, I'll tag along with my mom doing whatever she's doing AND while trying to get SOME studying done. Finals week is nearly upon me and I WILL do as well as I possibly can. My favorite little sister and tallest brother will be performing at Carnegie Hall at 8 PM Saturday evening as part of the National Youth Choir. Talk about an honor our family isn't about to miss! I'm looking forward to the concert. I'm trying to pack everything I need into a carry-on bag. Sound ambitious? Probably. Especially considering the brisk temperatures in NYC. Both my brother and I will take red eyes out of our respective west coast cities and arrive within half an hour of each other in JFK. There we will meet up and combine sleep-deprived brains to figure out complicated AirTrain and Long Island Rail Road maps to get us to the hotel. Since our hotel is right by the Empire State Building my mom wants to take a trip to the top, but I've already done that. I think that's the only major plan I've heard of so far. I have no idea what's there and have spent far less time researching it than my mother has. I'm there for my sister and brother and beyond that I hope I get some school work done! I have a big day tomorrow (register, enroll, work, class, other work, etc.) that ends with a 10:10 pm flight 8 hours long. Hooray!

Tuesday, March 02, 2004


Thank you for the make-up tips. No wonder I am generally opposed to wearing make-up. What a hassle! Possible ugliness is a price I'm willing to pay. --- Today and yesterday I have tried to enroll in $1740 worth of summer session classes. That would be a year's worth of physics lecture and lab. Unfortunately, my highest credit limit is $1800 and I have an outstanding balance on that card (which I WILL pay off in it's entirety when the bill comes) so I was unable to enroll online using that card. I went to my bank's website and transferred the tuition amount into my mastercard account. It showed an immediate increase in available credit. Good. I returned to my school's online registration page and tried to enroll. No go. They didn't like my credit card. I'll try again in a couple of days. I think I'm expecting too much too soon... but I REALLY need to get into these classes. So far web (or mail, but I haven't received the catalog yet) registration is my only option. --- In other news... I dreamed about Jackson all night long last night. I've been worrying a lot about that situation recently. I don't know why. We've found he does have a minor case of hip displaysia which is to be expected in German Shepherds, but no immediate action is required. Having only 3 legs is probably bringing that out sooner than it would have appeared had he been normal. I'm just always second guessing my past decisions and cringing at the thought of so many people doing so much for me. I wonder if it was all the best way to go. I know that I'll have even more data to process when I get to see him in person FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE SURGERY! Don't get me wrong, I'm incredibly grateful and thankful for all who contributed in some form or another. I love dogs. I love MY dog. However, presented with a similar situation... I don't know that I'd decide the same things, necessarily. Anyways. Not much time for that in my head right now. --- Josh is working today so I can't talk with him right now. =( I WANT to talk with him right now. He likes to hear what's going on with me BEFORE I post it here (and there's usually a lot going on in addition to the stuff I post.) I don't blame him. Getting it second hand is kind of impersonal and stale. (Sorry my love! You're off making money today!) --- I got my midterm back today. C+. Not excessively wonderful, but I did quite well on the first midterm. I think I went into "coast" mode. I'll do well on the final and should get a good grade for the class. He gives very fair exams so I can't complain. Current mood: antsy GTOTD: sun instead of the predicted rain

Monday, March 01, 2004


I've been trying to use up my make-up recently and have run into a problem with mascara removal. What do all you mascara-wearers out there do to remove it effectively? I have eye make-up remover but then the mascara collects in black smudges under my eyes. It's fine if I only wear it once a week or something but really not good for every day. I hate clawing at my eyes and I hate going around looking like I was in a fist fight. Does everyone do this? Am I missing something? Tell me!

Saturday, February 28, 2004


I've been studious most of the day while looking forward to the in-depth Bible study tonight. Just after I had finished reading a letter from DJRH, he called! He's doing well (despite the cold) and his voice sounds all messed up because he has to yell a lot. He used to be the AROC (person who yells stuff while marching) for his division because the girl who did it at first had to get her wisdom teeth taken out. Now she's back and he's the Master of something or other. The division liked him better as an AROC because he's louder and easier to understand. A quote from his letter, "Marching seems like punishment because the female AROCs are tone deaf and have no rhythm." =) He's a lock-in for rescue swimmer school and will do that after his A school. He graduates from boot on the 26th of March. His A school is in Florida and after that he could be based there or in San Diego. All in all it sounds like he's doing well. We'll probably get to see him next in December. Gagh. Current mood: productive Current music: Oh my darling... oh my darling... oh my daaaaaaaaarling Clemintine GTOTD: a card from my Joshua!

Thursday, February 26, 2004

Good luck with your senior recital, Tara! Congratulations!

Mud + boys = chaos

The rain poured down relentlessly for most of yesterday evening and all through the night. I silently hoped for some sort of disaster (power outage, flooding) that would result in my school closing, and hence the cancellation of a midterm that I endured this morning. No such luck. The rain stopped before sunrise and I swished off to work. Usually only 1 or 2 of the kids come very early and most of the kids arrive later, closer to the time school starts. Today I had 5 or 6 boys within the first 15 minutes. Not only had the rain caused delightful canyons and riverbeds it also caused wonderful mud sinkholes. Once the boys discovered the latter (I had prayed they wouldn't) I knew it was all over. I bravely battled against them, but in the end, I resigned. Boots and shoes were muddied, Jonathan stuck one foot in and fell over, Shaun dug one hole deeper and deeper so it collected more water and then lost his shovel in the bottom of it (which he cheerfully retrieved), Josh tested all ground with his boots and showed people the best places to jump in, Jack and Jordan (who didn't bring boots) searched for rocks and pinecones to drop in and then push down until they couldn't see them anymore (after they had drenched their shoes and socks by puddle-stomping), and Blaise was the out-of-control energy boy who delighted in trying to do everything at once. Even the girls, who have been known to run away screaming from the boys past threats of mudballs, were sucked into the mess. Doreen's boot sank so far in she had to take her foot out and got her sock all muddy and Monique ruined her new Sketcher shoes with a liberal coating of mud. "We're being Ramona," the girls told me. I guess SO! I know how fun mud is and I really would have loved to encourage them in their discovery of mud-related properties, but I felt I had a higher calling to keep them as clean as possible for the sakes of their teachers. When I have children I do not wish to have them 8 at a time. Current mood: wistful Current music: something by Amy Grant GTOTD: my dead giveaway is no longer taking up space in the front yard!


I saw Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ yesterday afternoon with extended family and friends. I highly recommend it. It was not totally what I was expecting, but maybe that's because I've used (and continue to use) my own imagination to illustrate the life and death of Christ. I experienced many emotions through out the movie, but they were not jumbled and mixed. I could specifically identify the source of the emotion and to what it corresponded to on screen. By the end I was filled with a strong sense of peace and hope, knowing the security of my position before God as a result of Jesus' selfless and unjust suffering and death. The Passion of the Christ is an experience that you cannot be a part of without it affecting you. I want to own the DVD but I know I won't be watching it excessively. Not only is it difficult to watch, but also I don't want to detract from the seriousness and gravity of the event by letting it become overly-familiar. I hate writing about it because I can't seem to say everything exactly how I want to. Go see it.

Monday, February 23, 2004

Rewards of exercise

Today I ran 2.25 miles in 23 minutes. I obviously didn't run the WHOLE way. I didn't stretch out completely before I started - BAD idea. Now my right back leg (HA. I've been thinking in terms of dog legs...) has a pulled muscle that caused me to limp around the grocery store this afternoon. Such is the price of being healthy I suppose.

Sunday, February 22, 2004

Rain rain stay away

OK, I know that Californians are generally wimps when it comes to driving in adverse weather conditions... but do they have to be so idiotic about it too? And this is only RAIN, people!!! On my way to church this morning there were twice as many (reported) accidents and I passed two (2) cars that had spun out and were resting on the divider, facing oncoming traffic. I know that we whine about rain, snow, sleet, hail, etc. more than most, but it's been raining HARD here the past few days. Torrents of rain came down so forcefully I was drawn to the window to just watch the ripples of water flood the gutters and wash down the street. I am originally from N CA where it rains more frequently. I admit, I'm a bit freaked out driving in the rain after spending a few years in sunny S CA. Most of the time I'm more freaked out by the nutso drivers around me than by my actual safety on the road. SUVs and lifted trucks go zooming by just as they would if it wasn't raining, throwing up huge wakes of spray into my windshield which greatly hinders visibility. Super sleek cars whiz by on the left and then cut you off in the usual fashion. Does anyone CARE that they could kill themselves and me in the process? Just SLOW DOWN, especially when it's raining so hard you can hardly see 100 feet in front of you. As I left the ranch tonight I drove on a 2-lane highway for several miles before I got to the freeway. It's hard enough to follow the white line on the side of the road when someone is coming at you from the other direction, but when they either don't turn off their high-beams at all, or turn them on right BEFORE they pass you... GRRRRRRR!!!! A lot of the "valleys" in the road had filled with water and there was small rivers of mud across other sections. A couple times on the freeway I felt my tires slip and hydroplane briefly. Wheeeee.... =) I turned the wheel slightly and felt the lack of traction. It really made me want to slam my foot down and lock up the brakes while grabbing the parking brake too... but I probably would have died at the end of THAT spectacular ride. =) In conclusion, I'll take rain over snow and ice any day but PLEASE don't be stupid when you drive. Especially in rain. Especially around me. Current mood: certain Current music: I'm singing it but don't know the words or who it's by. =) GTOTD: I got an HP PSC 1210 (printer)


Last night I dreamed about my wedding. It wasn't a normal wedding either. My family threw me a "surprise wedding party." Kinda like a surprise birthday party except you get married instead! Strange concept, no? All of a sudden I was just getting ready to be married and I had nothing to do with the plans. My mother brought me this tan beige dress with long sleeves and a stretchy lace top that wasn't at all flattering. I was frantically trying to finish my make-up as the wedding was supposed to begin (5 pm.) I was sending my little sister all over the place to get me things like a slip and shoes. My hair was in a ponytail. Then Steph came in and informed me that I wasn't the one holding up the wedding, it was the music. The band hadn't arrived yet. I could see lots of cars I recognized in the parking lot (it wasn't in a familiar building). As I dashed to and from the room I was getting ready in (which looked a lot like my aunt's bathroom) I saw quite a few people I knew waiting in the main hall. I remember seeing Josh's parents car, but no one ever talked about Josh which I found strange because I was wondering what he thought of this arrangement the whole time. I didn't ever think it was real, though I was relieved to wake up, but what a strange dream. I can only imagine the sorts of "nightmares" I'll have when I'm actually planning the wedding!

Friday, February 20, 2004

I can get so hooked on TV. It doesn't even have to be good TV. Hours of my life. Gone, just like that, with nothing to show for it. I can't stand it. It's so unsatisfying. Today was mostly an unproductive sick day. I'm trying to salvage some productivity out of it now that it's almost over. On Wednesday I was being super-studious at a small public library. After a few hours of reading I got tired and did what any normal student would do - rested my head on my books for a minute or two. I had my eyes closed for no more than 45 seconds before a library personnel person came by and whispered, "excuse me, you can't sleep in the library." I was shocked. Can't sleep in the library? Good grief! The place was almost empty; it wasn't like my body was taking up valuable table space. I was still sitting for crying out loud! College students get some of their best sleep in libraries. Obviously this lady didn't know anything about studying. It's not like I came into the library with a pillow and sleeping bag. Aren't I allowed a 10 minute break after using the library to study for a couple hours? Humph. Current mood: relaxed Current music: Cello CD GTOTD: I got pictures of Jackson (post-amputation) today!

Thursday, February 19, 2004


I knew this would happen. I pushed myself too hard yesterday and now I've plunged over the brink into the world of sore throats and body aches. Of course a few of the body aches are probably due to the healthy exercise I participated in. My grandiose plans to drive north for the weekend have crumbled. I'm sick. Additionally, I have a midterm next Thursday which wouldn't stop me normally, except that most of Wednesday I'll be at the Passion of the Christ and then a special lecture. No time to study there, which leaves me this weekend. Making adult decisions is no fun. I'm bummed that I won't get to see Josh on our 3-year anniversary (which is tomorrow.) I also really wanted to see Jackson. I came home from school early and spend most of the afternoon in bed. I apologize for the recent lack of interesting reading material. I've hit a dry spell. Current mood: unwell Current music: unwell GTOTD: no rain during daycare this morning

Wednesday, February 18, 2004


I awoke to my alarm at 5 AM and forced myself to get out of bed. After weeks of hectic schedules, Karen and I finally made it to the ARC (gym) this morning. I asked her to go with me because she's a veteran gym-goer and this morning was the first time I had ever set foot in the place. For some reason I've had gym-phobia. The entire time I've been here at school I've had free access to the ARC and yet never went. Of course now that I've gone I can't believe how ridiculous I was. I'm going to go as often as I can! Karen gave me a wonderful tour of the place and showed me how to use all the machines. We ran a mile (well... my time was a pathetic 14 minutes because I started out walking) and did a 30 min. work out on these elliptical, stair-step type things. Then we did a few of the weight machines. I brought clothes to change into but I didn't want to get too sweaty because I didn't bring any shower stuff. I left after an hour and a half because I was starving (I didn't eat before.) She stayed and kept going! It was really fun and I can't believe it's taken me this long to go. Current mood: energized Current music: GTOTD: Karen!

Tuesday, February 17, 2004

Valentine's Day

Josh arrived on Friday night along with the rest of my family. We enjoyed a relaxing Valentine's Day focused mainly on simply BEING together, seeing as for the majority of our relationship we have been 400 miles apart! We went out to breakfast (Josh and beck tradition) and then he wanted to go shopping to buy clothes for me (isn't he wonderful?) We bought more clothes than I really wanted to. I'm extremely poor so I felt the need to absolutely not spend a cent. It made me feel bad that he was paying for my clothes and it took a while for him to convince me that he should pay. The guy didn't buy ANY thing for himself and got so much for me... After we got home, he gave me my present which was... MORE CLOTHES! He bought me a cute denim skirt that I had wanted and some comfortable linnen pants. If I had known he was going to give me more clothes there would have been no way he could have convinced me to let him buy me all the clothes he had bought! I may take some of the things back - I'll see. I gave him a card (in which I had spent time writing a love letter) and a book entitled "All About Us." It has lots of short answer and fill-in questions that a couple can answer together and in the end you get a sort of snapshot on how you each think and what is important to you in the relationship. I thought it would be fun to look at, say, after 5 years of marriage and see how we've grown! We will have been "dating" for 3 years on February 20. Josh is totally and absolutely the man I want to marry. He could have told you at any point in our relationship that he knew I was the one and only girl for him, but it took me a little longer to arrive at that conclusion. I'm not sure exactly when I did arrive, but now that I'm here I can't imagine a better man for me. I'm really blessed to have him in my life and can't imagine my life without him. We headed to the beach to watch the sunset and cuddle and then picked up sushi and wine on the way home. Our 'romantic' dinner was shared by the company of 4 younger cousins which was totally fine because they're cool kids. We watched the Charlie Brown's Valentine movie on TV with them. --- Jackson is still at my parents house and as far as I know recuperating nicely. He had been "limping" on his left back foot but we hope it's due to the sudden extra usage required of it due to the amputation. I believe he got the staples removed from the incision today. --- I bought tickets to see Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ on the day it opens. I'm looking forward to the movie, but I am not expecting a "feel-good" movie at all. It'll be rough to watch, but as a Christian I know it signifies the eternal hope I now have. Current mood: studious Current music: "O Holy Night" by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra GTOTD: a BEAUTIFUL sunrise

Friday, February 13, 2004

Ladies and gentlemen, today, for the first time ever in all my memory, I saw with my own eyes the guy who changes the gas prices. I knew he was the gas-price-changing guy because that's exactly what he was doing and that's exactly what I saw. I can't wait until my Valentine arrives. I made him (and everyone arriving with him) brownies. I am looking forward to this weekend a LOT!!! Current mood: eager Current music: "I live for the moments like like that..." by some country singer. GTOTD: JOSH WILL BE IN MY ARMS!!!

Wednesday, February 11, 2004

heh heh heh...

I'm so sneaky. I'm here at school studying for my "molecular biology of the synapse" midterm tomorrow afternoon. There are nice, comfy, armed computer chairs at the computer terminals but if you sit at the desks you get hard, flat wooden ones with very little cushioning. Yup. I just switched chairs. I'm awesome. Surprisingly, very few people have caught on to this and lots of people at the desks remain in uncomfortable chairs as they sit less than 15 feet away from an empty comfortable computer chair. MWA HA HA HA. I'm sure this will supercharge my studying. Current mood: megalomaniacal Current music: after hunting around in my head for any possible shreds of music stuck in there, I'm coming back empty GTOTD: One of my lab partners has read all the James Herriott books!!!

Tuesday, February 10, 2004

Bird brains

Is this dumb or smart? I think it began smart but then evolved (BLACK INK!!!) into dumb. =) Also, according to my functional neuroanatomy professor, pinching the back of your neck is supposed to result in pupil dilation. (You know... that black hole in your eye?) I have not verified the truth of this myself (yet) but feel free to practice this ciliospinal reflex in the privacy of your own bathroom.

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

I'm tired around the edges today because howling winds woke me up several times last night. Somehow, they made their way into my dreams, where I spent most of my time clinging to things to prevent being blown away, and so I woke up additionally tired. I learned of two or three interesting neurological case studies today and really feel I can't share them appropriately without pictures. Locked-In Syndrome is complete paralysis of the body that results from injury or damage to the pons region. Lots of fiber tracts that control voluntary movements go through this area and the damage has devastating results. The most difficult thing is that the patient's cognitive functions are not damaged at all (the brain is above the brainstem where the pons is located) and he or she can think and read perfectly normally. The only movement that can occur is eye-blinking. That's it. Nothing else. No skeletal muscle, no smiling, talking, facial expressions... they're completely "frozen". In 1995 jean-Dominique Bauby, a 42 year old editor-in-chief of a French Magazine suffered from a severe brain-stem stroke. This website tells part of his story. He actually dictated the writing of his own book by blinking his eyes. The book is called "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" so named because of the weight he compared his physical immobility to (diving bell) and yet his cognitive function was free and unaffected (butterfly.) Here is more information on the book. Current mood: indifferent Current music: "I'm Addicted to You" by someone. I don't even like the song and I have no idea where I heard it. GTOTD: A platinum mastercard of my very own.

Monday, February 09, 2004


It is an unwritten southern CA rule that the car window must be rolled down for at least the last 3 miles before you reach the beach. Convertibles and sunroofs are excused from this rule. It is certainly my unwritten rule, especially today, in the dead of winter, where the high at the beaches was 71 degrees Fahrenheit. (*smirk*) As I came over the top of the last hill the ocean suddenly burst into view, sparkling endlessly on beneath me. Catalina's horizon was crystal clear against the piercing blue sky. The simple beauty of blue sky meeting deep dark glittering blue ocean was breathtaking. Once enough of my breath returned, I called my mother to gloat. She knows exactly what it looked like. Our family has been visiting this beach for generations. I parked at the top of the cliffs and walked out towards a bench, taking a textbook with me, but knowing I'd get little done. There was too much to take in. Too much to admire. This day was perfect. Really perfect. The palm trees seemed greener against such a rich blue sky. The ocean was calm and endless. The sun carelessly scattered rivers of diamonds onto the water's surface that shimmered and sparkled right up to the shore. The air was still except for a smiling breeze that cheerfully played with my hair every so often. Low chiming of the buoy bells at the harbor's mouth communicated to the white sails quietly progressing along their switchbacks to the horizon. If only Josh were here with me...


I spend a few hours trying to play with jpg files to make them "postable" to my blog using various photo editing programs. I am completely illiterate and it's ridiculous of me to try to do things I'm not ready for in the least. I also have lusted after digital cameras (without much extensive research) and a few photoblogs I've run across recently. I adore the idea of a photoblog. It's the perfect compliment to a daily journal entry. A literal snapshot of life. Step one is becoming a decent photographer. I don't even know how to manipulate my camera to give me what I'm imagining in my head. I guess I just haven't made time for it, much in the same way I haven't made time for my writing. Unfortunately, the world of biology doesn't leave me much time for anything. The time I do have is quickly sucked up by other commitments and relationships... leaving hardly any for further development (ha ha, photo pun!) and exploration of myself. (Exhibit A: Un-practiced guitar quietly waiting in the corner of my room.) Obviously I can't take on more than I can do... but there is SO much I want to do. --- I am supremely excited for my dear friend Chell today. Her husband of almost 7 months will be reunited with her today for the first time in over 5 months. Yes you heard me correctly. Newly-wed husband and wife have been separated for longer than they've been together since they were married. I had the privilege of being in Chell's wedding. Her groom is Australian and had to return to Australia to await the visa/interview process shortly after the extended honeymoon (they were married in the US and then had receptions in Australia). They plan to live in the U.S. After agonizing over all sorts of vague processes and paperwork (at least it's vague to me... I'm sure they know about everything now!) he finally arrived in the States sometime this morning. Chell left me a message while I was at work this morning as she drove to the airport. She was very excited. I'm so glad that they can be together in time for Valentine's Day. =) I only know part of her pain as my long distance relationship covers only 400 miles, instead of the several thousand miles that kept them apart during most of their engagement and now for part of their married life. But today they are together, and nothing else matters. =) --- This guy has a hilarious entry in which he recounts how he dropped his cell phone in the toilet. He's a great story-teller, go read it. I laughed out loud several times. Current mood: cheered Current music: GTOTD: Lab practical portion of the exam on Wednesday instead of today. This is very good considering I did not know there would be a lab practical portion of the exam until today, when I arrived for what I thought would be only a written exam!

Sunday, February 08, 2004

Before my shower this morning I cleaned the toilet and tub. This is notable because it completes a whole week of household chores that I actually got done within the week I was supposed to. A while ago I got sick of cleaning up EVERYthing the night before company arrived, so I made a list of all the chores I wanted to do, and how often they needed to get done. Then I made 4 cards corresponding to the 4 weeks in a month and distributed the chores out evenly to each of the cards. All I'd have to do was a little bit each day and hypothetically the house would be reasonable clean at any point in time. No more last minute cleaning. That was in... September. This week, the first week in February, I finally do all the required chores for the week during the week. I've been at the ranch most of the day "studying." I did get some studying done but I also ran to Ace to get plumbing things for Niloticus and Cool Joe who were fixing toilet problems at their tenants house. I need to come up with suitable nicknames for everyone. Current mood: Stingy. At least my eyes are. It must be because I'm wearing make up. Current music: TV in the other room GTOTD: Rose quartz nail polish I borrowed from Thoroughbred21

Saturday, February 07, 2004

You'll never guess what I saw at daycare yesterday afternoon. Are you ready? Have your guess? WRONG. A 3-legged dog. One of the kids ran by announcing, "Sam's 3-legged dog is here!" I think this got my attention even more so than that of the other kids! Sure enough, Sam's mom had brought their little terrier mix (about the size of a beagle) to school to show the kids. They had just adopted him from the animal shelter. He had been hit by a car and the shelter removed the right front leg completely (just like Jax's left front) before putting him up for adoption. His fur wasn't quite all the way grown back. It was really encouraging to see a dog in a similar condition enjoying life and getting around! Plus, I now have a better idea of what Jackson looks like. Here's a quote I found in Oscar Wilde's Lord Arthur Savile's Crime: "No, I am not at all cynical, I have merely got experience, which, however, is very much the same thing." ~ Lady Windermere Today is a study day. I already blew half of it trying to work out my Nextel problem. End of the story: I have a new phone, same model, same number. Something was wrong with the circuitry boards in my old phone that didn't allow it to connect to the network. So, new phone for me! On to make muscle flashcards. Current mood: mellow Current music: n/a GTOTD: Derrick of Nextel and his expertise.

Friday, February 06, 2004

From my mother

Here's the latest Jackson report straight from an email I received from my mother: --- Jackson has a vet's appointment for next Thursday, February 12th. This coming week will be rather challenging. Now that a constantly painful leg isn't bothering him, he's feeling wonderful! And acting like an enthusiastic puppy. The bulky bandage is off, and he doesn't understand that he needs to be extra careful that he doesn't pull the stitches/staples out (especially by scratching with his hind leg - on tender skin that's accustomed to being covered with thick fur), bump and bruise the surgery site by falling on it, etc. It's pretty itchy where he's been shaved and is now healing. I bought an Elizabethan collar (which he hates!) and he's wearing it in the crate. We slathered as much of his bare skin as he permitted with anti-itch cream, and then covered him as well as we could with an old shirt of [my little sister's] (it's tighter than the old "Swoosh" Nike shirt of [my brother's] that we've been using for the past couple of days.) The shirt really optimally should be removed for potty purposes, but that may not happen unless it actually gets wet - since every time the shirt goes on and off, the E-collar needs to as well. He's only had the E-collar put on twice, and already knows several tricks to sabotage the process. Smart puppy! He initially growled and barked at the vet techs and vet, but they sweet-talked him into cooperation - with friendly insults, a few treats, and firm manpower. [my little sister] and I both remember that he weighed 52 lbs. this AM. IF he comes south with [my brother], you'll probably need to find a local vet to remove the staples at the two week point. Ask around and only go to someone who's been recommended. You'll also need to find a way to de-dirt the out-of-doors run - since he'll be lying on that shaved suture line and keeping it clean is a HIGH priority. He can't be washed/shampooed until after the sutures/staples are removed (although I've already been cleaning off his front leg when he hits it with pee, and washing off his feet after he pranced thru fresh poo...). The vet guesses it'll take a minimum of 6 months for his fur to grow back. I'm not sure if he'll be done with his antibiotics before [my brother] drives south. They're to be given twice a day. He recognizes the pill (a pretty big gelatin capsule) and spits it out, so [my sister] has been taking a slightly-larger-than-the-pill block of cheese, cutting a pill-shaped valley, inserting the pill and replacing cheese over the top. If that's smeared with Liverwurst, he'll generally take it happily - especially if you follow it rather quickly with something else he likes. He'll hurry and swallow to be ready for the next treat. The other night I didn't get it buried deeply enough in the cheese, so he spit it out. I tried again with leftover Tri-tip (which the boys decried) and was successful. I think the E-collar will prohibit him from chewing on a Kong or leather bone, which will be challenging.... We'll probably have to go pretty heavily on the tranquilizer - especially over the next few days. ---

Thursday, February 05, 2004

States I've visited

Here are all the states (in red) I can remember visiting (I think.) I had to guess on some of the east coast ones. They're so small and insignificant. =) Being from the west, it's hard to comprehend jumping 4-5 state lines all within a day, or even 45 minutes! I'd love to go on a road trip this summer and fill in all the states I missed!
create your own visited states map or write about it on the open travel guide
Today I recieved my phone bill (unopened) from March of 2002. At the rate and method in which my grandfather processes the mail that comes to this address... I'm glad for a PO box!
A gold star goes to Tim for correctly identifying both the songs from both bands I managed to superimpose in my brain. No wonder I couldn't decide which band played the song that was in my head, because there were really two songs! I think the music was mostly the Remedy song and then since I was unsure on the lyrics, I used some from DC Talk. What had happened was that I had a certain chord progression stuck in my head, and then got parts of two songs where they have identical progression. FOR example... "this kiss this kiiiiiiss / it's unsinkable" (sung by someone I'm sure you know, but I don't) and then the "I want to shiiiiiiiine" from Todd and Benji. Figuring out what my own brain is doing is hard enough sometimes, let alone trying to understand how other people think and process things! Don't we have a complex Creator? That's why you can't go to the library and check out the complete book how the body works. Just one system alone would require rooms of books describing in exhausting detail all the components, functions, regulatory pathways, molecular mechanisms, etc. If man knew everything there was to know about the human body we'd be switching heads and bodies and organs around like Lego people. Fortunately for us, we don't know everything and that is what makes life so enjoyable and such an unpredictable experience. I don't think we'd be any happier switching heads every other day even if it was (HA!) possible. Can you imagine the difficulty we'd have trying to "find" ourselves? "Yeah I need to take a break from this relationship. I don't really know who I am. I might really be in the left leg I wore last week, but I can't remember what I did with it. I think my cousin has it now." Or maybe we wouldn't even feel a need to "find" ourselves because our parents would have been rearranging us since birth. Or maybe, we wouldn't have true parents because human-components would be made in a wherehouse and when you wanted a "child" you could go put one together, like Build-A-Bear. God certainly didn't have to make us complex (a lot of the things He created aren't complex at all) but we were made in His image. Our complexity reflects the complexity of everything He is. I think that's awesome. I'm reminded of the word "manifold" in Eph. 3:10 and how it's descriptive of God's character. Here's a helpful place. Current mood: relaxed Current music: "Deep center rest, my child..." by One Remedy. =) GTOTD: I got a solid B on my first midterm and did far better than I had imagined on the brain labeling section of the exam.

Wednesday, February 04, 2004

Falling into bed

It's always easier to stay up late when nothing compels you to. I checked in with my little sister (she's 15) on Jackson's progress. She said he's up and hobbling about, trying to be his old self. He's chewing on his toys and trying to play with Shadow (Lisa's dog) and wanted to visit with the office pets at the vet's. The vet's office staff babysat him today while my mom and siblings had to be elsewhere for several hours. He also has gone to the bathroom without too much difficulty. He's wearing an old T-shirt of my brother's in order to keep him from scratching at the bandage and all the shaved area around it. That's encouraging news especially since it's only the first day after surgery! However... keeping his activity down to a minimum for the next 10 days per doctor's orders (we want the incision to heal nicely) is going to be a challenge!! Mom when you read this please feel free to give a more accurate account via a comment. Current mood: sleepy!!! yay!!! my bed!!! Current music: "I want to shiiiiiine like the sun and the stars in the heavens...." or something like that by some band whose name eludes me at the moment. GTOTD: a functional printer


Our TA (2nd quarter graduate student) didn't know where the student center was until it clicked for him in this statement: "Oh, like the student center where the pub is?" ~Jesse He's a good guy, but needs practice perfecting some of his TA skills. I enjoy the class and my lab partners are great, which makes things a lot better! Things are also made a lot better when we get out an hour early, like today. =) The lab report is done. I am done with school for the day. I have no pressing assignments. I think I'll go home and eat a brownie. As well as 8 bowls of cereal. Current mood: drained but free Current music: n/a GTOTD: One of my lab partners is a Richard Feynman fan!

Tuesday, February 03, 2004

Jackson surgery update

If only Methyl knew how lucky she is to have her left front leg. Why couldn't it have been her? The cost of everything would have been much less! Jackson came through surgery just fine and is now minus a left front leg and both testicles (he was long overdue to be neutered!) Tamara called me right after surgery to say that things went perfectly, his heart rate was steady throughout, etc. She had to leave me a message because I was in class but I heard the rest of the story from my mom after she brought him home. Apparently they removed the entire leg, all the way up to the shoulder (as in, took the ball out of the socket.) This will be better than having a short stump which would be easily injured when he falls. I'm having a hard time picturing what he'll look like after all his fur has grown back, but I'm sure he'll do just fine. Mom says that he was alert enough to recognize people and wag his tail weakly, but he's still in pain and kind of woozy. He was whimpering and whining a bit but it's hard to tell why since he tends to be more vocal about everything in general. It would be safe to assume that he's not feeling well and any dog should be able to whine about that! =) Obviously he hasn't tried or been able to get up yet. Tamara gave my mom some injectable pain meds in case he's in a lot of pain through the night. He'll be in his crate (we don't want him trying to get up and do stuff and hurt himself) tonight and hopefully he'll find a way to go to the bathroom without messing up his bandages. He has a follow up appointment on Friday. I really wish I could be a more direct part of all this. Not only am I helpless in paying for it (the vet's office didn't charge us near what they should/could have, even just for all the drugs and meds and antibiotics, not to mention doing the surgery for free) I can't even be there to do the daily care work. Current mood: worn Current music: silence GTOTD: by this time tomorrow I won't care about that stupid lab report